My Life Is Perfect, It Just Doesn’t LOOK That Way Right Now.

"Ah, home crap home." - Tom Hanks, The Money Pit

First, I must apologize for falling off of the blog wagon. Suffice to say that since I last wrote, my days have been stacked floor to ceiling with really crucial and time-sensitive activities. And man, does it ever show. I truly mean it, in both directions. I can’t believe how much I’ve gotten done in the last month or so, but it’s the worst thing about being completely consumed by something that you care about—you can only do so much every day, and the things that aren’t absolutely necessary fall to the wayside. So yeah, the house is a wreck right now.

I’ve been playing a fun game with clutter lately, particularly when it comes to the toddler of the house, aka “The Living Tornado.” It’s a little like walking a tightrope with chaos to the left and order to the right. For example, let’s say it would take 15 to 30 minutes to really straighten up every evening after she goes to bed. The next morning, she will render all of my work undone in less than 5 minutes. It’s unavoidable. However, if I don’t spend any time at all cleaning up, our home begins to more closely resemble a nuclear test site with each passing day. What I’ve found is that if I clean up “just enough,” for some reason she doesn’t seem to want to make it any messier. It’s like the T-Rex in Jurassic Park— don’t clean too much, it can’t see the the cleanliness if you don’t clean too much.

That works most of the time, and figuring out where “just enough” lies on the messy scale is a daily adjustment, and at least it’s a kind of amusing exercise in futility. It does take its toll, particularly in the last couple of weeks when the busyness of our lives has reached a high-pitched scream and we haven’t even had time for a five-minute daily battle against chaos.

I had a photo shoot last week, at the apex of the mess. I hate doing photo shoots. I feel so self-conscious, most of all in the days leading up to it. But this time, I actually just had fun with it. For the first time, I looked at the activity in the same way that I look at all of the other creative outlets I have. I have to trick myself into enjoying it at the start, but I’m getting better at just letting go. I think it helped that we got out of the house. It was a nice little vacation.

So while I’m perfectly content on the one hand, I’m looking forward to making the “not absolutely necessary” things a little more necessary in the next week or two. I badly need a break from all of this productivity. Another vacation, please. And bring me a margarita, frozen, no salt.


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